Don't Let the "Evil Cube" Control Your Life

Have you ever had an goal, dream, intention or even a plan and then set out to accomplish whatever it is only to sabotage yourself? New Year's resolutions are a great example. January first rolls around and we state our goals. "I am going to lose weight. I am going to get up early, get to the gym, cut out the junk food and take better care of myself." Fantastic!

What happens though? Temptations pull us away. Work derails our new schedule. Life happens. The little voice in our head says, "I can eat just one donut." "I can workout tomorrow." "I worked hard today, I deserve it." What happens next? That same voice berates us. "I can't do anything." "I never finish what I start." "I'll never stick to a program and lose weight." Worse yet, we might have a voice inside that becomes violent. "I'm too fat and lazy." "I'm a loser." "I'll never amount to anything."

Maybe more violence is better

Let's pretend that you were at some event requiring performance. A play, a race, whatever. Someone you know is participating; they come to you and say, "I'm nervous. I don't think I'll do well. I'm over my head here." What would you say? "You're right. You're a loser, you'll never amount to anything, you should just leave." No, of course we wouldn't say that! Then, why do we say it to ourselves? As though if only we could be violent and degrading enough, somehow we would rise up and achieve great things. How can you do that wearing headphones continually spouting negative, derogatory, defeating words into our brain? Well, you can't. Let's look at what happens and a way to change that.

When we are little, zero to six, our brain is in a particular state that is continually downloading information. When we hear things that are hugely impactful such as, "You disappointment me." "What's wrong with you." "You're doing that wrong." When, for the next few years we might hear critical, negative comments about our abilities, capabilities and self, it isn't long before our internal dialog takes over. Why this happens is simple to understand. We have an innate belief that our family is who looks out for us and cares for us more than anyone. Their messages about us and the world matter most of all. At the same time, there is a part of our brain designed to maintain the status quo because what it knows is safe. So when we try to do something different and change, it pulls us back to who we were and what it knows. In a way it is trying to protect us. Check out this fun video that explains how our brain does this.

Enter the Evil Cube

While at some level there might be a good intention here, the unfortunate reality is that it stifles our growth. It does this using a little trick. I call it the evil cube to help you visualize it as something external from you, because it is not you and so you can imagine it as something you want to fight. The evil cube is the culmination of messages from your past trying to keep you where you are at, even if that place is not good for you. We all have the little voice in our head we converse with; our consciousness. When we try to change, take on something that might helps us, change us, improve us or is new, different and better, the evil cube hijacks that voice. The little trick it uses is to disguise itself so you think that it is really you.

Let's say you decide to put on some nice clothes to feel better about yourself. You look in the mirror and want to hear positives in your head, but then the evil cube strikes! It doesn't say, "you look awful" or "you look silly." If it did that, you'd probably say, "Take a hike! I look great." Instead the evil cube says, "I look awful" or "I look silly." Naturally then, you think it is you reflecting on you, but it is not! This is that part of your brain trying to keep you the same using the words we heard from the past, often from our family. I'll prove it. Take out a sheet of paper and at the top write out a dream or goal. Use something that would be hard to accept right now, how about "I am going to buy a Ferrari." Say that out load and then listen to the thoughts that come into your awareness and write what the evil cube says. You might hear something like, "I'll never afford one of those. "I'm not good enough to make that much money. I don't deserve something so cool." And then, predictably, it never happens. The evil cube says, "Mission accomplished."

Learn about your evil cube

To learn more about the evil cube inside you I suggest you create a name for it, then ask yourself some questions. How does it usually sabotage me? What allies does it call up? Fear, anxiety? Low self worth? Depression? Addictions? What does it use as an ally to keep you in your place? When does it strike? Ask yourself where it came from in your past? Who installed this parasite? Finally, ask yourself what its long term goals are for you. The evil cube is probably not working towards a good outcome. It is time to banish this thing into exile forever. Here are a few ways.

Create a counter voice

Repeat the exercise above only use a real goal you are working towards. Goals are critical, so if you do not have any, it is time to work on that. For now, pick a real one you can use. Write it at the top of a page and then create three columns. Read the goal out loud and then listen to the evil cube start spewing out sabotaging statements. Write them down using, "I . . " statements. Yes, all of them. Read the goal again to make sure you get them all. Next, rewrite the evil cube's statement changing the "I" pronoun to "you". Read that out loud and notice how it feels as though it is not you, but someone else standing in judgment. Finally, Write a positive counter statement and use that any time the evil cube starts to derail you. Here is an example.

Goal: I am going to double my monthly salary in six months.

I will never do that. You will never do that. I will double my salary in six months!

I'm dreaming. You are dreaming. I am making goals and will accomplish this!

Emotional Freedom Techniqe

Another way to clear out these negative thoughts filling your head and sabotaging your life is to use Emotional Freedom Technique to tap them into oblivion. You might have to tap on the same ones every day for a week, but If you try this you will be quite surprise at what happens.

Give this a try and email me to let me know how it goes.